I realized that a quart of paint is plenty enough for fixing that one with surplus, so finally got around to fancying up an unfinished Ikea desk chair I’ve been meaning to stain for half a year.

But then it started to rain, so I moved the operation inside, to be finished TBD, and got some ice cream sandwiches. 

Before the rain (and the ice cream sandwiches) a man drove by and told me he knew I must be serious because of the paint in my hair.  I laughed because yes yes I know I have flecks of primer in my bangs but it’s totally water-based so whatevs, kind sir.  I didn’t find out what he meant for several more hours.

I think that must’ve happened when I was laying on my back to reach the bottom of the seat, rolling around in green paint.

(The primer is still in my bangs.)

This much fruit is only okay if you have a diarrhea death wish.

What is a girl to do with eleven pounds of strawberries?  Or a quarter bushel of peaches?

Earl says, "Put 'em in a goddamn jar."

It’s time to make some jam! 

empties

Jam is (surprisingly) easy to make and downright cheap per batch.  Plus, it means YOU D.I.Y.-ed YOUR PBJ.

peach-berry (peaches+raspberries+blackberries) and peach pie filling

 After much trial and error, and with ample input from the internet and fruit pectin boxes, I landed on the recipe for the most deliciously tart Strawberry Marmalade:

Ingredients:

• 2 lbs strawberries (fresh or frozen)
• Juice of 2 lemons
• 1 Tbs lemon zest
• 4 c sugar

Directions:

1. Sterilize your jars, lids, and bands.  I throw mine in the dishwasher and heat-dry them.
2. If you don’t have a canner, fill a stock pot with water and heat on medium.  Place your jars in the hot water, cover them up, and reduce the heat.  Heat a small saucepan full of water of medium, add your lids (not your bands), and turn down to a simmer.  If you do have a canner, what are you reading this for?  You totally know what to do.
3. Wash your strawberries.  To hull them, inset the knife into the top, at the stem, and cut in a circular motion to remove the white part inside.  Chop up the berries according to how chunky or smooth you want your jam.
4. In a wide pan, cook lemon juice and sugar over medium heat, until sugar melts.  If the sugar starts to form crystals, wipe them down with a wet pastry brush.
5. Add strawberries.  Stir together.  Continue to heat until thickened and bubbly, when the mixture reaches 220 degrees.
6. Carefully remove the warmed jars and lids from the water.  Scoop into jars, leaving about 1/4″ of space (a funnel helps A LOT).  Wipe the rim, top with a lid, and seal the band tight.
7. Increase your stock pot to a boil.  CAREFULLY insert the sealed jars inside.  Be sure that there is at least 1″ of water covering the lids.  Let them boil in the water bath for 10 minutes; this kills anything gross and prepares your marmalade to sit on the shelf fo rup to 12 months.  (On-hand presents year-round, anyone?)
8. CAREFULLY remove your jars and set them on a towel (or layers of towel, if you’ve got granite countertops)–you don’t want your hot jars to crack on the cold surface.  Leave them alone for 24 hours.  You’ll hear the lids pop; they are just excited to be done.  If any of your lids don’t pop–you shouldn’t be able to push the seal in the center–you can reprocess them, but it’s less risky to throw them in the fridge and eat them up soon.

This stuff’s great on biscuits, toast, waffles, pancakes, spoons…  I used this awesome recipe to make both plain strawberry jam and strawberry-ginger jam.

Me and this chair, we had a connection.  We had an understanding.  A new screw in the armrest, a coat of fresh paint, and it’s good as new.  But then I picked it up to load it into my car and it was all like, SURPRISE!!

So now it’s more like, a new screw, a little wood glue, some wood putty, some 100 grit sandpaper, some water-based primer, and multiple coats of semi-gloss in Spanish Olive, and it’s almost as good as new.  It’s a-okay.  It’ll pass.

It’s going to be a total babe of a chair.